kicking puppies is bad » horrible stuff

Icky….

nahgems — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 08:10:46 +0000

On September 3rd of last year, I wrote a journal entry about crudités and a trip to Chimney Bluffs State Park. For those of you who care, it’s available here. For those of you who are too lazy to click the link, the basic idea of the journal entry was that my sister somehow thought that green peppers and peanut butter would be good combination, and brought them on our trip. When I questioned her judgment, she threatened to beat me with a flaccid carrot.

Also noted in that entry was that my puppy is really pretty and has an exceptionally long tongue (but that is completely irrelevant to the current entry). This trip was 231 days ago (according to www.timeanddate.com, because I am way too lazy to actually calculate that).

This afternoon, I went to dinner with my sister. As I was dropping her off, she said, “Do you still have my backpack?” I replied that I thought it might be in my laundry room. After our voyage to Chimney Bluffs last fall, my sister put her backpack in the trunk of my car. It remained there until Christmas when I was delivering three friends to the airport. I needed trunk space and hastily emptied my trunk into my laundry room.

My laundry room is a disaster. It’s really gross. I try to not to be a totally gross person. The rest of my house is actually quite clean – thanks mostly to a wonderful woman from craigslist who scours it biweekly for a mere $45. She is amazing. But there are two rooms that she doesn’t scour. And the laundry room is one of them. So the laundry room never gets cleaned. And the buried backpack remained there until tonight. Tonight it was unearthed, as were the remainder of the 231 day old crudités. Ick….

There really was no point to posting this. I should clean out the laundry room. Who knows what other treasures are waiting to be unearthed. Instead I’m going to ballroom. Foxtrot makes me smile. Cleaning the laundry room does not make me smile. Any other disgustingness in my laundry room will have to wait.

I love slightly inappropriate xmas decorations…

nahgems — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:02:55 +0000

As the holidays get closer, I am always amazed by the new holiday decorations. Last year, I almost purchased an inflatable nativity scene for my yard. Everyone should have their own inflatable baby Jesus. But I wimped out at the last minute. My neighborhood is pretty Catholic. And I didn’t want people throwing bricks through my windows. They might accidentally hit my puppy. And that would make me sad. Why do people want to attack my puppies?

Maybe if inflatable nativities are 1/2 price after Christmas I will pick one up this year. Shockingly, there are apparently multiple companies making inflatible nativity scenes now. But I probably won’t get one. I am fairly happy with lots and lots of LED lights instead. I love christmas lights. They make everything sparkley. Oooo. Sparkles….

This morning I came across this:

Among other things, it states that it is intended as satire (but that it is also a “real” product – you can buy it). And if it wasn’t $15, I just might.

Protect our troops – from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?Plastic replica of an 11-12 week old fetus, 3″ long, holding a firearm in its precious little hand, with an assortment of other military paraphernalia, encased in a translucent plastic ornament, with a patriotic yellow ribbon on top. Includes a metal ornament hanger. If only a womb were this safe, attractive and reasonably priced!

Show that you support the “culture of life” by buying and proudly displaying one of these patriotic unborn Americans.

I think my favorite part is that it is also “available in brown“. That’s right, your fetus soldier doesn’t have to be caucasian. I would actually be curious to know how many they sell…

I had gotten used to it…

nahgems — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 08:03:40 +0000

I had gotten used to the fact that HTML tags worked randomly in certain parts of OkCupid and not in others. I knew not to try images or links in my comments, but that I could use either in the main body of my journal. I wished this was all documented somewhere, but apparently that was too difficult. And I was ok with that. Slowly, over time, I figured out what worked where.Today, when I posted about obnoxious banner ads, I put the text “YOU WIN!” in bold, in multiple colors and I used the EVIL blink tag. It was supposed to be obnoxious. In my previous 85 journal entries, I had never actually tried to use the blink tag, because I generally try not to be that obnoxious. I wasn’t terribly surprised that the blinking text didn’t work. In fact, I was actually pleased that OkCupid was kind enough to not let any moron add blinking text to their journal. What surprised me, was that not only did my text not blink, but it wasn’t colored. My post about being too socially inept for google had “google” in appropriate colors. Which meant that colors worked in journals. So I assumed that I had miscoded. I checked my HTML (I know, I would have had to be dumber than retarded lemur in Arkansas to mess up HTML), but I thought it was possible. My HTML looked fine. So I went back to the “Google” post I mentioned earlier, and shockingly the text was no longer colored. As I was scanning old journal entries I noticed that the image resizing in my “You scared my sister away…” post, which hadn’t worked when it posted on Nov 28, was suddenly working. Those silly magical gnomes in the OkCupid computers have been messing with things again!

So, OkCupid, I don’t really care if random HTML tags work on random parts of the site, and not on others. I’ve gotten used to that. And I am actually thankful that the blink tag doesn’t seem to work in journals (even though I tried to use it). It would actually make me sad if some of the more obnoxious users (I won’t mention any names, but you know who you are) found out they could make text blink. I’m really glad that isn’t enabled. But it would make me smile if the random tags that do occasionally work would work consistently. Your inconsistency is crimping my style…