I have two somewhat poorly behaved puppies. One of these puppies has a habit of stealing food. This creates a problem. Once he has “grabbed” the food, no one really wants to eat it. But if we let him have it, he is rewarded for stealing the food. My husband has solved this problem by taking the food from the dog who stole it (usually RJ), and feeding it to the other dog (usually Nadia). When this happens, RJ gets a very pathetic, incredibly confused look on his face. We describe the look RJ gets when someone takes his hot-dog away and feeds it to Nadia as the “Someone yoinked my hot-dog” look. It is really pathetic.
I have spent the majority of this weekend with a “someone yoinked my hot-dog” look. This weekend has been depressing. And, like most good Americans, I ”fix” my depression with food (mmm… curry fries). But every time I have tried to find that perfect snack to take the pain away, my hot-dog has been “yoinked” (I’m making the pathetic puppy dog face, but you can’t see it because this a blog).
On friday I received two letters from the DMV (one from CA and one from NY). Apparently insurance mishap in CA caused my registration to be revoked (the insurance company had the VIN wrong for my car, so electronic transmission required by the state of Califonia was incorrect. California assumed I was uninsured and revoked my registraion). A second error caused my license to be revoked by NY. Apparently they never received my license plates when I sold my car. Since they sent the notices to my home in NY, I never got them. They revoked my license. So, I have no driver’s license and my car registration has been revoked.
After sifting through the paperwork and spending an obscene amount of time on the phone with my insurance company resolving the registration issue (the license issue is more difficult, and will take some extended effort) I decided to throw myself a pity party. This pity party needed yummy cheesy pizza. But when my husband picked up the yummy cheesy pizza goodness, he didn’t check to make sure they gave us the correct yummy cheesy pizza. And the not-so-yummy pizza they gave to us had mushrooms and olives on it. The tempting scent of pizza goodness taunted me. It said, “Ha! I smell like yumminess, but really I am covered with fungus spores! Your craving will not be satiated”. So I gave up and went to bed.
I woke up this morning thinking of the delicious cinnamon bread tastiness that we purchased at the farmer’s market. As I exited the shower, I imagined that I could already smell it toasting. Then, suddenly, I realized that I *could* already smell it toasting. Someone else was popping the last slice of delightful-yumminess out of the toaster. I stumbled to the cupboard hoping to find another slice. Surely there was more cinnamon tastiness hidden somewhere. Alas, it was gone. No cinnamon toast for me.
Luckily (by some miracle) I was ready for work early. I decided to drive a bit out of my way to pick up some more cinnamon deliciciousness. I looked up the bakery location on Yelp (we had purchased it from the farmer’s market, so I hadn’t actually ever been to the bakery) and set out on my journey. I got mildly lost, but persisted in my search. Finally, I located Ester’s German Bakery. But none of the lights were one. I did a double-take. What kind of bakery isn’t open at 8 am? Apparently Ester’s. She doesn’t open until 9. Once again, my hot-dog got “yoinked”. Stupid bakery.
I hung my head in defeat and decided not to look elsewhere for pastry (so that I wouldn’t be too late for work). I could just grab a snickers from the vending machine on my way up to the office. After all, snickers claims to satisfy you. I made it to work (only slightly late). As I trudged up to my office, I passed the vending machine. It had a large “out of order” sign posted over the change slot. No snickers for me.
No pizza. No cinnamon bread. No snickers. I am incapable of being a responsible adult (maintaining a drivers license and registration). Now I know how Harold and Kumar felt on their trek to White Castle. Except, unlike the laudable heros who completed their journey, I did not reach any of my delicious destinations. And I can already tell today is going to be one of those days.