boobies, donuts and charity

A friend of mine was tasked with “doing something” for national donut day, and asked me for suggestions.  Since he works for a company “defined by a philosophy that people want to matter and make a difference instead of being defined by age, race, income, gender or geography” my first thought was some sort of do-good event.  Afterall, Donut Day originated as a fundraiser for the Salvation Army.  A “do good” event seemed Appropriate.

But doing *actual* good is hard work.  So, I thought doing some sort of fundraiser where we could generate money was probably the easiest solution.  Something like “Tofu Takedown” (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/13/dining/13cook.html) but with donuts instead of tofu (and with the entry fees going to charity).  Someone else could do the hard-work / acutal “good” with the money raised.  I could have yummy donuts (i.e. have a donut rave?) and feel good about myself (because the donut rave raised money for a worthy cause).  Then I started to think about what cause to donate to.  There were three obvious donut-day-related “do good” themes that were to me:

1. Cops: There are tons of cop related charities.  And (like it or not) cops are associated with donuts (and tasering pregnant women).  But I have some sort of weird hatred for cops.  I can’t really explain it, but I have a visceral negative reaction to cops.  I literally start shaking around them.  And then they think I’m guilty (or on drugs) because I am sweating and shaking.  And I know cops do good things and keep me safe and everything.  But for me, cops are like spiders.  They just creep me out.  Cops are the anti-gummi-bear in my life. 
2. Obesity / Healthy Diets: Because donuts (and gummi bears) make me (and everyone else in America) fat.  And fat is bad.  But it seems quite hypocritical to “celebrate” donut day by supporting healthy eating.  But in this scenerio I was kind of thinking about the charity as being “donut offset” (similar to carbon offsets – where I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about gorging on donuts because the charity donation would make sure someone else was eating healthy food).  And the SF Area has some cool “healthy” charities (like the Chez Panisse Foundation or Village Harvest). 
3. Salvation Army: Because National Doughnut Day started in 1938 as a fund raiser for the Chicago Salvation Army.  But the Salvation Army is tough for me.  They are one of the few large charities that I think generally does have an large positive impact.  They do significantly better than their major “competitors” (like the Red Cross). They tend to show up at disasters before the Red Cross.  And they have less administrative costs than the Red Cross.  And they rarely have evil scandels about waste (like the Red Cross does).  I can’t argue that the Salvation Army doesn’t do good things.  But they are solidly Christian (hence the “salvation” in their name).  And if you read the position statements on the Salvation Army’s website, their position on Marriage, Homosexuality and Abortion are henious.  

Anyways, finding a donut-day-related “cause” to support was harder than anticipated.  I like to support local charities, but I’m fairly new here in Cali, and not as familiar with the local charity scene.  So I started looking on the interwebz for local (potentially donut related) “do good” groups.  I didn’t find anything helpful.  I did find an article about http://www.myfreeimplants.com/, a service which (according to wiki) “purports to be an alternative to traditional cosmetic surgery financing methods. Models participate on the website with the main goal of raising money to fund a breast augmentation procedure through online donations.”.  I don’t know if they are actually a “real” (501c3 tax-deductible nonprofit) charity.  My work blocks their website so I was unable to learn more about them.  But even if I thought they were a “good” idea (and I don’t) they seem anti-donut-day.  Girls (and many guys) who eat lots of donuts already have boobs.  It is the 98 lb non-donut-eating girls who need “charity” like that.  If I was going to support a boob related charity (or I guess Charity Event), it would be “Hooters for Neuters”.  Because starving puppies are sad. 

So yeah.  In reality, I’m not the one tasked with “doing something” for national donut day.  So I’m not sure why I spent this much time thinking about it.  But if you have suggestions about how to “do something” for national donut day, I’ll pass them along.

2 Responses to “boobies, donuts and charity”

  1. Your post made me laugh. I think you may have come up with your own answer. Puppies. Puppies like donuts (thus they are NOT anti-donut. Of course they will pretty much scarf any food) so maybe the local animal shelter. OR you could donate to a local food shelter. Food shelters typically are not all that healthy so I wouldn’t think they are anti-donut.

  2. My puppy definately likes donuts (and anything else that looks remotely edible, like socks).

Leave a Reply