kicking puppies is bad

Who are you? I have a nice handy “about” section that gives all sorts of information about me. I’m the self-absorbed psuedo-intellectual who thinks my opinions are interesting enough to blog about. But who are you? Who are the crazy people who spend time reading my blog? 

I catch glimses of my faithful blog readers through the comments they leave, the stats that I get on the site and the searches that lead them here. Sometime, I think that no one reads this blog – but google analytics (yes, I use google analytics even though I HATE the evil google empire) says that the average person who lands on my site spends almost 10 minutes and looks at multiple pages (and I excluded my own IP address, so it isn’t just me, sitting there reading my blog).   And Google Analytics is cool – but it doesn’t tell me enough.  For instance, the last few searches that led people to this site were for: “painful ass acne”, “pimp this bum”, “chainsaw monkey” and “dad smells of poo”.    Sadly, the poor individual who was searching for insight on his (or her) “painful ass acne” didn’t spend much time here.  

Somedays, I think Google (and wordpress) are messing with my head.  Perhaps no one actually reads this.  I can’t imagine that the average person is really spending more than 10 minutes per visit here (especially since so many of my visitors are from http://www.condron.us and http://alphainventions.com/feed.xml).   Do you actually read this?  Does your “dad smell of poo”?  What were you hoping to find when you searched for “chainsaw gorilla”?   Many of you linked to “My Sister’s Poo Smells Like Lollipop’s and Rainbow’s” from another blog that discusses “rainbow poo”.  Why do you find colorful poo so fascinating? 

Many of you are returning visitors.   Does that mean you find some sort of meaning in my (almost) daily rambling? Faithful blog readers (or random strangers that happened to land here), do you really exist?  Who are you?  Is your ass-acne feeling any better?