kicking puppies is bad

I hate Google. I hate google with a fiery passion. My slightly hideous ex-boyfriend worked there (which in itself wasn’t enough to make me hate Google), but really it is the four interviews at the evil Google empire that makes me hate them. I interviewed at google four times. Each time, someone made a point of telling me that getting an interview was an honor. Like I should be saying “Oh wonderful magic Google, I am honored to be invited to your campus to beg for a job.” But each time, I was rejected. And that also wasn’t enough to make me hate Google.

My ex was fairly high up in the chain of google command and lacked certain morals. So after my interview, he went to the HR office (when someone was away from their desk) and took my file. He just took it. Google said that I was technically competant but didn’t have the social skills to be successful there. And THAT is really why I hate Google. I mean, have you ever met the people that work there? If I have LESS social skills then them, I must be delusional and rocking back and forth in a corner eating paste. Google called me pathetic. I hate Google.

A female friend of mine (who also happens to work for the evil Googleempire) said that she wasn’t shocked. She feels the “social skills” standards for girls there are high. Apparently, the thing she says most freqently while conversing with her coworkers is “Its OK to look at me. You don’t have to stare at the floor” (this needs to be repeated several times during each meeting, even though she has worked with these people for years). If I was the kind of person to claim gender discrimination, I probably would. I mean, why does the evil Google empire require girls that are socially competent enough to deal with their stammering engineers, without requiring that their stammering engineers be social competent enough to deal with girls?

Anyhow, the point of this blog is that I hate Google a little less today. The magic Google Android phone has changed my mind. My husband really wanted one (he *really* wants a new shiny cell phone about every three months). We use shiny his cell phones for many things (including an alarm clock). This morning when the “alarm clock” went off, Iglanced at the magic Google phone and it said “6:10″. I hit snooze. I waited for it to go off again. It seemed to take forever. I enjoyed the “forever”. I love sleep. Eventually, it went off again. I hit “off” and rolled out of bed. Ilooked at the magic Google phone to find the time. It said “6:10″.

It’s entirely possible that the first time, it was asking if I wanted to “snooze” until “6:10″, and the second time was telling me that I *did* snooze until 6:10. But I prefer to think that the magic google gremlins froze time and allowed me to sleep for an extra 10 minutes. I love you magic google time freezing gnomes. I love you more than gummi bears. I love you enough to mostly forgive those evil Google bastards for calling me socially incompetent.