kicking puppies is bad

I hate staff meetings. They are a waste of time that could be spent working (or surfing the internet, or writing pointless blog posts about how much I hate staff meetings). They cover topics that don’t impact me. I don’t use the office kitchen, so I don’t need the weekly lecture on how to clean the milk-foamer wand on the espresso machine. And (for the few things that I might actually care about) no one really cares about my opinion. Given that I am one of two programmers), you would think my opinion would matter on things like the “technology needs” discussion. But it doesn’t. Last time we discussed “software needs” I asked for one thing (just one). It was one of the few things that didn’t make the official “technology request” memo. So, honestly, I don’t really care what happens in our meetings. And I hate attending them.

But my least favorite moment is when our director asks “Does anyone have any important issues to bring up?”. Becaue if no one brought up any “important issues”, we could leave. But other people seem oblivious to this. There are two specific individuals that always have “important issues” to bring up. One of these issues is always the disgustingness of the microwave or the espresso machine. After years of whining about the nastiness, nothing has changed. Do they really think that “discussing” it one more time is going to make someone say “Gee, the last 17 times you mentioned it, I thought you were talking about everyone else in the office. This time I get it. You want ME to wipe the milk foamy nozzle on the espresso machine after I make my latte!”. And then the problem will be fixed. Yeah. It just isn’t going to happen. Maybe next time someone asks about “important issues”, I should bring up the wasted time discussing unimportant “important issues” in staff meetings.

I think there should be a rule about how frequently a topic can be discussed. If you bring up something that has been discussed within the last 4 weeks you should get tasered. Unfortunatly, I doubt this would stop these people from talking. They would just branch out and bring up other “important issues” – like whether the (already approved/discussed) artwork in the office is to “provocative” (it isn’t provocative it all).

Maybe instead of the taser rule, we should use coupons or tickets or something. And people should have a very limited amount of “important issues” they can bring up each year. Then the obnoxious people who bring up the same issue every week would run out of coupons. And I would only hear about the damn espresso machiene a few times a year. Of course, tasering them sounds more fun.