kicking puppies is bad

I like bumper stickers. I find some of them entertaining. But I see a ton of bumper stickers that say “I’d rather be golfing” or “I’d rather be fishing” or “I’d rather be [insert random pass time]“. And I don’t really get it. I mean, I understand wanting to show support for a cause (political, equal rights, jesus, etc). Ok, I lied, I don’t really understand wanting to show support for Jesus. The general concept of religion kind of eludes me. I get the Unitarian kind (be nice, do good things, but we aren’t talking about blind faith in anything). But I don’t get the blind faith in salvation through Jesus kind. I mean the whole concept of accepting things on faith just doesn’t make sense to me.

Anyways, “I’d rather be golfing” doesn’t show support for anything. It is kind of like walking up to stranger and saying “I like puppies” or “Ice cream is yummy”. I mean, I *do* like puppies and ice cream *is* yummy. But I don’t tell random people that. I occasionally tell them to stop being bigoted assholes. And that is want most bumper-stickers-for-a-cause do. I get telling them to support a political candidate who will spend money on education, or to support equal rights for *all* families. And I guess I can understand how someone who passionately thought that Jesus was the only route to salvation might want to share their faith to save others. It annoys me, but I kind of understand. But I don’t understand “I’d rather be golfing”. Why bother sharing? It reminds me of Ralph Wiggum, wander around eating paste and saying, “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”

This morning I saw two pink bumper stickers that said, “I’d rather be here and now”. I couldn’t tell if they were trying to be ironic, or if they just were proclaiming something like “I’d rather be fishing”. Both of the drivers looked pretty miserable. On a conceptual level, I could understand the comment either way. I understand thinking “I’d rather live in the present and not spend all my time wishing I was doing something else”. But I would also understand “The only time people will see this is when I am driving to work and back, and really – who likes rush hour traffic? Everyone would rather be fishing you moron”. Both sentiments seem like rather odd things to want to share with strangers (Again, along this lines of “My cat’s breath smells like cat food”). At first, I decided they must have been meant ironicly. I mean, it just makes more sense to me. It seems less like saying “My cat’s breath smells like catfood” and more like saying “I think you’re stupid”. And at least I get why you might tell a random stranger they were being stupid. On the other hand, both of the drivers seemed like middle aged frumpy women – who probably wouldn’t end any statement with “you moron”. So maybe they really were staying “I’d rather be here and now”. Which is sad, because I’d rather be doing almost ANYTHING than sitting in traffic. How bad must their lives be that they would rather be in traffic than at home with their puppies? Maybe they don’t have puppies. That is probably why they looked so miserable.

Anyways, who would buy a pink “I’d rather be here and now” bumper sticker (for either reason)? If you were trying to be funny/ironic – it seems like there are better options. And if you actually mean you would rather be sitting in rush hour traffic, why do you feel the need to tell random strangers that? I just don’t get it.