kicking puppies is bad

I am a liar. Clearly my journal is not entirely dead – just mostly dead… I apparently have at least one more rant. You aren’t my friend….

A long, long time ago, I was a college freshman. Before I arrived my freshman year, I resolved to make friends. While this resolution applied to everyone, I specifically resolved to make friends with my roommate (this was way before I met her). But apparently the RPI matching software is about as talented as the OkCupid matching software. When I arrived freshman year – the eco-friendly, politically liberal, bookish, artsy, vegetarian roommate I expected was no where to be found. Instead, I found an Air-Force ROTC, super-christian, country music loving, Virginian who hung a pull-up bar in my doorway, had “The Guide to Resisting Sexual Sin” under her bed and ate beef jerky. Still, I had already decided to be her friend. So, when she asked me to go to a Rensselaer Christian Association meeting with her, I reluctantly agreed. I went to the meeting, and signed the “sign-in” sheet at the door. The meeting was creepy (as expected). People hugged me. I don’t like huggy people. I don’t like Jesus either. I resolved not to go back.

I assumed this was the end of my relationship with RCA. What I didn’t know was that they had added me to their “member” list. Apparently clubs with more members get more funds or something — because anyone who attends a meeting EVER gets added. The membership list gets sent to the bursar’s office. The bursar chooses a random student from the list to receive the RCA scholarship. They picked me. I felt slightly guilty for taking it. But I did anyways. If Jesus had wanted one of the crazy Christians to take it, he would have given it to them. He gave it to me.

Well, Christian guilt led me to attend additional meetings. I don’t know what I was thinking, but it certainly seemed like a sign from God. I eventually (after about a month) stopped going. The meetings were still creepy. People still hugged me (even after I explicitly asked them not to). I still hated Jesus. I kept the scholarship for 3 years. But while I was there, I actually made two friends (Who knew Christians could be fun?). These became my roommates for the next two years. We just avoided discussing Jesus because – as mentioned earlier – I hate Jesus. They did not.

Anyways, their Christian friends didn’t particularly like me. I was evil and apparently bad influence. At one point, they had an “intervention” to try and get my Christian friends to stop hanging out with me. They REALLY didn’t like me.

You’re probably wondering how all of this relates to the title (and first paragraph) of this entry. I hadn’t talked to either of these girls in years — but they WERE my friends. So I didn’t mind when one of them added me as a “facebook friend”.

But then I started getting additional requests. From *their* creepy christian college friends. These people were never my friend. These people hated me. These people are icky. And now I have a list of “friend requests” on facebook. I don’t want to “reject” them. I have a weird “issue” with rejecting people. But I don’t want to accept them either. The creepy Christians who hated me are the most obvious people insincere “facebook friend” requests. But there are also people in my high school class that I barely knew.

One of those high school “friends” worked as a receptionist at the ballroom studio where I occasionally took lessons. When she send a “friend” request, I didn’t want to offend her. She did scheduling and I wanted good lesson times. So I accepted her “friend request”. But I stopped taking lessons there months ago. And now I want to remove her from my friend list. She was never really my friend. But if I do she will get a “removed” email. And that just seems mean. And I don’t like being mean. I like gummi bears.

Why do people keep adding me as a facebook “friend” when they aren’t my friend (and never were)? It stresses me out. I don’t want to add them. But I don’t want to be mean either. It is making me want to sit in a corner and eat gummi bears and never log on to facebook again. I hate facebook. I hate friend requests. I hate Jesus. `

** I think I may have told the Jesus-Scholarship story in a previous entry. I apologize for the redundancy. But it was necessary for explaining why I hate facebook.