kicking puppies is bad

I’ve always known my family is pretty crazy (think: untamed – yet somehow nerdy – proboscis monkeys on Ritalin). I shouldn’t have been shocked when my darling sister announced that she had given up dating. And it shouldn’t have surprised me when she announced that instead of dating she was going to start proposing to all the people she liked until someone said yes (or she reached the end of her list). Since she isn’t very social, it is a pretty short list. I suggested that this was probably a bad idea, and that it was more likely to result in a restraining order (or horrible, fiery, catastrophic death by cannibalism) than anything else. But she never listens to me.I came home yesterday to find her using my computer. As I walked in, she said, “[Unnamed Guy] doesn’t think my idea is crazy.” And since [Unnamed Guy] hadn’t freaked out yet, I asked the obvious question: Had she proposed to him yet. She said, “Not yet”, but proceeded to do so (via Gtalk). And apparently he said yes.

I was surprised that any guy (knowing my sister well enough to make her list) would agree. This isn’t because I think my sister isn’t date-able (or marry-able). I think my sister is absolutely fabulous. If I were a guy (and not related to her), I would *totally* date her. But most guys are a little commitment phobic. And if you know my sister well enough to make her list, then you probably know that she just might be crazy enough to go through with something like this. And if she *is* being serious and you decide to back out, it could be upsettingly messy.

[Unnamed Guy] is someone she dated four years ago. They broke up when she decided to leave graduate school in PA and move back to NY. They didn’t talk for 3.5 years. And they haven’t seen each other (or been within 100 miles of each other) in four years. But she proposed anyways. And he said yes.

And now they are playing “wedding chicken”. They are each trying to freak the other person out by being “totally serious” about this. But because they are trying to freak each other out by being “more serious” than each other, the plans are starting to progress at an alarming rate. He picked out a ring, but she didn’t freak out. She picked out a dress, but he didn’t freak out. They discussed location, living arrangements, kids, pets, jobs… And neither one of them is freaking out / backing down.

I’m starting to think she might actually serious about this (she claims to be 80% serious). I’ve never actually met [Unnamed Guy], so I don’t know if he is crazy enough to go through with it. But I’m fairly sure my sister is crazy enough to do it. And If someone doesn’t freak out and lose this game of wedding chicken soon, I see another sea-foam green bridesmaid dress with a giant bow on its ass in my future. Ewww!