kicking puppies is bad

Tuesday nights I tutor (not anything intellectual, my student is in first grade). I would pretend that it is one of those altruistic** wonderful things that make me a super person (yes, I truely believe that my net impact on the world is *way* more positive than yours). But that would be a big lie. It may have started out as a pseudo-altruistic “volunteer” activity, but I have bonded with my student. And now I don’t really think of it as “volunteering”.Last Tuesday, the copier at her school had broken. They didn’t send a homework packet to work on. Instead I was given “age appropriate worksheets” (which apparently means color-by-number). Yay, Crayons! Boo, Complete lack of creativity!

But these color-by-numbers were evil. I’m all for weirdly colored things. Had the pony been pink and purple, I would have been cool with that. But these color-by-number worksheets were just a little off. And it bothered me. The grass was green, and the apples were red, but the tree trunks were orange. And I found that I couldn’t make myself follow the directions. I didn’t want orange tree trunks. And I didn’t want an ugly yellow splochy pony.

So I didn’t follow the instructions. And I really hope that the impressionable youth working with me doesn’t emulate me and get in trouble. I remember the elementary school crayon fascists. They scared me. They are probably the ones who stomped all the creativity out of me. They are probably the reason that at 27-years-old I can’t handle orange tree trunks on a color-by-number worksheet.

Actually, I can’t decide if my inability to follow directions is because I am too anal retentive (tree trunks aren’t brown) or not anal retentive enough (damn it it says 3-yellow). *Sigh* I would totally fail first grade.

** I don’t actually believe in altruism, Santa Claus, or nice Republicans.