kicking puppies is bad

For the most part guys seem to avoid relationships with single moms. I have heard various reasons for this. Some of the reasons make sense to me. Other reasons make less sense to me, but may still be valid. The common reasons (pulled from random OkCupid journals/comments) have included:

• Lack of Attention: “I want them to be completely committed to me, and subsequently any kids I have with them, not someone else’s sprogs” – madoo
• Too Much Drama: “First of all, there is no such thing as a ‘single parent’. The other parent is always present in the kid’s life in some way, therefore present in your partner’s life too. And that can be maddening.” – MissFreckles
• Lack of Character: “A single mom (different from a widowed mom) tells us volumes of who she is and what kind of person she is by the manner of circumstances in which she became a single mom.” – PrometheusX
• Random Ick Factor: “It’s like any other big ugly black mark on a girl. You could find the sweetest, most loving, funniest, most perfect person in the world. And yea, she’s totally great – except for that fuckin’ third ear! What the fuck IS that?” – atomicturtle
• Generally Dislikes children: “I don’t want kids. EVER. Adoption or natural, don’t want them.” – darkmage0707077

This probably seems like a weird topic for me to be thinking about, given that I have never popped anything remotely close to the size of a full grown Chihuahua out of my vagina. And you are probably wondering why I am choosing this as today’s rant topic. In May I applied to become a foster parent. I like kids. I volunteer with kids. I have a house with 2.5 bedrooms. Monroe County is in desperate need of foster homes. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It still seems like a good idea.

I went through the initial phone screening, the obscene amounts of paperwork, the fingerprinting, the credit check, and the criminal background check. I sat through a 3 hour information session. I have had two 2.5 hour home visit/interviews. I installed an extra smoke detector. I started MAPP training (Model Approaches to Partnerships in Parenting) where I have spent 3 hours a week for the last five weeks talking about my feelings (ick!) with other potential foster parents. I have five more weeks of MAPP classes, one more home visit and a physical left. Sometime in December I will be certified by New York State as a foster parent.

My questions is this: How undateable does that make me? Looking at the factors discussed earlier some seem very applicable and others seem less applicable.

• Lack of attention: Being a foster parent is pretty similar to being a regular single parent. It is a big time commitment. It might be less offensive to people because it isn’t permanent. Maybe?
• Too Much Drama: Daddy Drama doesn’t necessarily apply. Although there is generally interaction with the biological parents. And that makes some drama.
• Lack of Character: I don’t think ‘lack of character’ issues really apply to this situation. As mentioned earlier, I didn’t actually pop anything remotely close to the size of a full grown Chihuahua out of my vagina.
• General Ick Factor: I have no idea how the ‘general ick factor applies. Foster parents certainly have a reputation for being “generally icky”.
• Dislikes Children: This probably applies equally to foster and biological kids.

So will being a single foster parent make me as undateable as being a single biological parent would? Is it worse, because it was a conscious well-thought out choice on my part? Is it better because it doesn’t necessarily have the same level of permanence? If you wouldn’t consider dating a single biological parent, would you consider dating a single foster parent?