kicking puppies is bad

I censor my vocabulary around most people because I worry that I come across as a pretentious twit. I have found that in everyday conversations using words like “teratogenic” causes problems for me (even when those words are totally appropriate). I find myself constantly “translating” things into “normal English” when I am speaking. And I can’t decide if I’m OK with that or not. Lately I have been torn on this issue.

I don’t necessarily enjoy modifying my vocabulary to accommodate people with smaller lexica. It takes constant thought. Thinking make my brain hurt. And it is stressful to constantly translate everything to avoid sounding like a pretentious twit. On the other hand, people generally connect much better with the “less articulate” version of me. They like fluffy me. They like the “me” that talks about gummi bears and uses little words. They dislike the “me” that talks about Human Right’s violations and uses words they don’t understand. I can apparently be quite charming when I am warm and fuzzy and try**. And I occasionally enjoy having people around. If modifying my vocabulary helps me make friends, is it such a bad thing?

I’m not sure that my efforts to modify my vocabulary actually work. I recently came to the conclusion that I may not be doing a very good job at “dumbing things down”. And even with all my effort, I probably still come across as a pretentious twit. I was talking with a friend the other day and I used the term “exuberant” to describe my mood. Their response was, “Well, isn’t that a fifty-cent SAT word”. And I was confused. Because I thought that “exuberant” was a fairly normal word. And I had been trying not to use big words with this particular person. Because I knew that they didn’t like them.

Later, I emailed some photos to a friend of mine. They sent a message back commenting that,

The system Juno uses for displaying attached pictures is abysmal. Before I used a different program to view the photographs, I was worried that the discoloration of your skin might be the result of a concerning “zombie chic” style that I am unfamiliar with”.

In my response I referred to my (unfortunately natural) zombie-like pallor. They replied,

I have been authorized to award you a Voluminous Vocabulary Voucher for the employment of the term “pallor” in a casual setting. Accompanied by a more liberal use of “ichor” and “eldritch,” there will hardly be any reason for me to crack open that Lovecraft book.

I didn’t think that “pallor” was an abnormal word. And I especially didn’t think that “pallor” was an abnormal word to use with this particular friend. He reads Lovecraft. He is one of the more articulate people that I know. Later, when I surveyed some of my engineer friends (i.e. definitely smart, but not always articulate) they informed me that “pallor” was not a term they were familiar with. And it was probably not a term I should use in “everyday conversation”. Is “pallor” actually a weird word?

So I guess I am confused. I’m not sure how to have a normal conversation without sounding like a pretentious twit. Should I be monitoring my vocabulary in conversations with “real people”? Or does “dumbing down” my vocabulary make me patronizing? Because I absolutely HATE people who are patronizing. And if I *am* monitoring my vocabulary, where should I draw the line? Clearly “cephalocaudal” is not appropriate in normal conversation. But is “pallor”? “Pallor” seems slightly more normal. And if “pallor” isn’t OK, can I still use “exuberant”? Is there some easy rule (i.e. words with six or fewer letters)?

And yes, I realize that this whole journal entry makes me sound like a pretentious twit.

** Or at least people pretend to find me charming while they try to get into my pants…