OkCupid Stalking….
Generally when I ask questions in my journal they are rhetorical. I don’t particularly want or expect “answers” (although I do appreciate all the constructive and humorous feedback that I receive). But, in this case, I’m actually curious. I want “answers”. Help me out.What is with the “stalking”. When “My Stalkers” first appeared on OkCupid, I thought it was inappropriately named. I mean, I view people’s profiles and I don’t consider myself a stalker. I didn’t want to end up on someone’s “stalker” list just for viewing their profile. But I generally view people’s profile once. If they write interesting journal entries that end up on my homescreen, I sometimes go back to their profile because I want to clarify some piece of information after learning more about them. But generally, if people don’t email me, and I am not reading their journal, I don’t ever go back.
But I’ve been watching the stalker list on my homescreen. I wish it gave useful stalker information like, “this person has viewed you XXX times”. That would be *helpful* information in detecting stalkers. But even without that feature, I’ve noticed SEVERAL people who view my profile on a regular basis. And I’m not one of those people who actually changes my profile regularly. It has been pretty much the same since I posted it a few months ago. So, I’m really curious. Why would you view someone’s profile repeatedly (like every freaking day, sometimes multiple times a day)? And do you realize that I know this (and that it creeps me out just a little bit)? And should I be flattered or creeped out (or both)?
Well, because I spend too much free time on the net. And I search by match%, so often the same names come up repeatedly. So, I just click and check it out. It’s the same kind of silly behavior for people that stalk their favorite cricket or news sites, or play too much farmville, or check my friend’s facebook profile often.
I don’t really see it as stalking (although it is an indication of a time-waster), absent intruding on someone’s private space, being secretive, intimidatory or soliciting responses. Now, if someone starts messaging without response – that crosses the boundaries. But just my viewpoint. I’d suggest don’t read too much into it, unless the person starts behaving stalkerish in messaging or bugging you.
Amir said this on October 30th, 2010 at 8:38 pm