kicking puppies is bad

I’m not entirely sure how a holiday becomes official. But there are several lists of bizarre “official” holidays available on the interweb. And the lists actually exhibit some consistency, which suggests that there is some standard for becomming an official holiday.

Some of these holidays (like “Sneak Some Zuchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day”) seem to need no further explanation. I would assume that the appropriate way to celebrate “Sneak Some Zuchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day” is to sneak some Zuchini onto your neighbor’s porch. I apparently missed this holiday. It was last Wednesday. My neighbors will have to wait for another year if they want free zuchini from me.

Some of the other holidays are less transparent. For example, according to a random (very poorly designed) website, today is Presidential Joke Day. I’m not entirely sure what this means. Is this a day to play jokes on the president, or a day for the president to play jokes on others? Alternately, is this a day that we are supposed to celebrate the fact that our president *is* a joke? And how exactly would one “celebrate” that fact? Should one go out and get miserably drunk in a vain attempt to forget the fact that our president it is a joke? This would be my suggestion. Our President makes me sad. Apparently, I am no longer in the minority (and haven’t been for quite some time). His approval rating is lower than Nixon’s was in the summer of 1973. Perhaps he is attempting to give us something to celebrate this Presidential Joke Day? I’m still not quite certain how to “celebrate” this one…