in the butt

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Over the years (despite my destain for Jesus-lovers) I have attracted a number of uber-Christian friends. I think it has something to do with my “uncoolness”. When you don’t particularly like drinking, partying, or large groups of people, your social options in college are limited. The other kids who don’t like drinking, partying or large groups of people tend to love Jesus (bummer for me).

This has (mostly) worked out well for me. It got me a nice “Jesus” scholarship for undergrad (don’t judge me, if Jesus had wanted it to go to a true believer, then surely he could have arranged for that). But, while I have made lots of Jesus-loving friends, I’m bad at keeping them. I move a lot, and I lose touch with people. I recently reconnected (via facebook) with one of these friends is finishing her OB/GYN residency. She is over-tired, works long hours, but seems to truely enjoy delivering babies. Which is good. Except that it makes me sad when Jesus-lovers become OB/GYNs. Because it is one of those fields where jesus-y beliefs get in the way.

One of her duties is answering the preggo hotline. And she was apparently horrified by a caller who asked how long after giving birth before she could have sex “in the butt”. My Christian friend indignantly asked me, “How do you respond to that?!?”. My first thought was, “You give the medically relevant answer?” I mean, I’m sure there is some guideline. I’m not an OB/GYN, I’ve never given birth, and I find anal to sort of resemble having an indecisive turd (which doesn’t exactly get me all hot and bothered). So this isn’t a piece of information that I know. But I’m sure (as a doctor) she *should* know the medically relevant answer. And (in my opinion) she should probably give that infomation to the people who specifically ask about it. But apparently her recommendation is that you never have sex “in the butt”.

I wish (when searching for an OB/GYN), I could be guarenteed to find one who wouldn’t allow their religion to effect their advice regarding my vagina (or my pooper).

Fat girl rides bicycle…

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My husband and I decided we needed at least one joint activity that isn’t unhealthy (consuming copious amounts of curry fries apparently doesn’t count). The activity we picked was bicycling, so we headed to REI to spend obscene amounts of money (because apparently we can’t do anything without heading to REI and spending obscene amounts [...]

Suck It Teriyaki Skirt Steak.

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My crazy-funk has reached new levels. Lately, I often find myself on the verge of hysteria for (almost) no reason.  Eight months of living with my in-laws has pushed my fragile sanity to it’s limit.  While my in-laws are fantastic people, I miss having personal space.  I miss having stuff (everything I own is in [...]

death (and why making factual information available isn’t a bad thing, unless you’re too dumb to understand it.)

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I generally believe that making factual information available is never a bad thing. People should make informed decisions based on the “truth” (factual information) and having additional “truth” (data) can’t hurt, right? But I’m a statistical programmer. I deal with “truth” (data) all day long. And I forget that most people either don’t deal with [...]

Do smarmy fake tans really make you want to buy crappy products?

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A friend of mine was trying to describe this guy she had just met.  And her description was something like, “He was oily.  And not in the smooth olive oil sort of way.  In the nasty, cloying, crisco sort of way.  He had that used-car-salesman vibe.”   Used car salesmen have a bad reputation, but that [...]

because karma denies me marshmellowy goodness….

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Most vegetarian “replications” of non-vegetarian items suck.  They are chewy, flavorless, cardboard-like versions of scrumptious meaty things.  If anyone tries to convince you that boca burgers taste just like a nice juicy slab of ground beef, you should set their pants on fire (or possibly find some other less violent way to indicate that you know they are lying).  [...]

stupid, narcissistic, prius-driving hippies….

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I like the Toyota Prius.  I like environmentally friendly things.  If I could afford a Prius, I would probably have one (unless I was so rich I could afford an orange Tesla).  But I’m not rich, so my car isn’t eco-friendly.  My scooter uses less gas than a car, but its a 2-stroke and therefore is [...]

boobies, donuts and charity

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A friend of mine was tasked with “doing something” for national donut day, and asked me for suggestions.  Since he works for a company “defined by a philosophy that people want to matter and make a difference instead of being defined by age, race, income, gender or geography” my first thought was some sort of [...]

And then Evil-Spock smokes up with his friend Harold (and subsequently steals his powers)…

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I occasionally like Sci-Fi.  This isn’t something I discuss often, because I realize it places me solidly in the “loser” category.   I grew up with a family membership to the Rochester Chess Center, so I am used to being solidly in the “loser” category.  And I have learned to minimize the “loser” aspects of my personality so that [...]

sadly, i never made it to white castle….

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I have two somewhat poorly behaved puppies.  One of these puppies has a habit of stealing food.   This creates a problem.  Once he has “grabbed” the food, no one really wants to eat it.  But if we let him have it, he is rewarded for stealing the food.  My husband has solved this problem by [...]